Wednesday, August 7, 2013

A Post of Random Truthfulness


I have had so many thoughts running through my mind lately since the move and I thought I would compile some of them in this post:

*Being new in town and not really knowing anyone, makes me feel like a high school freshman the first day in a new school when I walk into the grocery store (insert comments and stares about a mom walking into the store by herself with 4 kids).
*I hate the fact that I am not a great "people person" so it's hard for me to put myself out there in order to meet new people.
*I hate that my kids have met no new friends here in our new town and that is kind of attributed to the above statement.
*I love the fact that my husband keeps me centered and that he makes me realize that it's perfectly normal to not be fake to make friends.
*I hate when people look at me with all 4 of MY kids and ask "Are they all yours?" And are amazed when I tell them yes and that me and their dad are still married!
*I usually leave finished laundry folded on the dryer in everyone's individual piles because I don't feel like taking them and putting them away (that's why I'm glad my new laundry room has a door and no one has to see it!)
*My kids are very technology-centered and I am not sorry for the fact that they can operate an iPhone, iPad and iPod better than most grown adults; technology will be a major staple in their lives and I have no problem them being exposed to it now.
*I feel blessed beyond belief to be able to stay home with my kids, but I so desperately miss the everyday adult conversations I use to have with some of my closest friends.
*I have regretfully let some of my best friends slip away from me since I have been a stay-at-home mom.
*My house is usually NEVER cleaned until around 10 PM at night; when you have 4 tornadoes following you everywhere you go and destroying everything you just fixed, cleaned, put away- I see no point in it.
*I will get my house more clean in the hour before we have guests over than I will the entire week prior to that!
*My kids (all 4 of them) are super easy, laid back kids and they make our lives as parents VERY easy!
*The best advice I can give to parents or people thinking about having a baby is to let the baby fit into YOUR life; don't try to schedule around them. They are little beings who adapt much easier to new things than we do!
*I used to have extreme "mom guilt" when I would take time to go to the gym or for a run.
*I no longer have that "mom guilt" feeling and I can attribute my losing all 53 pounds of baby weight from the twins to finally getting over that feeling; plus if anyone knows anything, the endorphins you get from working out are great for you!
*I am not a perfect mother and aside from my many moments of extreme patience, I have awful moments of loss of patience that usually result in me hurting my kids' feelings. (I'm working on it!)
*I have never had many girl friends and it is extremely hard for me to find true, genuine friends.
*I base my friendships nowadays on people that my kids are friends with; and sometimes that doesn't work out so great, but for the most part, it hasn't been a bad thing!
*I love getting to see the twins go through all of the different stages of their development and I have extreme guilt over missing a lot of Berk and Jack's milestones due to working.
*I can never repay my husband for allowing me to be a stay-at-home mom; it is the most rewarding, yet exhausting career EVER!
*In my mind, I guess I thought that moving here would magically mend some of my friendship
issues and I have been unexpectedly disappointed.

And there you have some of my inner thinkings for the day! News on the kids is as follows:
-Berk will not be starting Pre-K this year due to stipulations and qualifications that we do not meet.
-Jack will not be going to the preschool we had initially enrolled him in due to the fact that Berk won't be going.
-I will be "homeschooling" Berk and Jack this year to do some preschool/pre-k stuff on MWF and on T/Th we will be doing some stuff to put ourselves out there and hopefully meet some friends i.e. going to the library, doing gymnastics and hopefully getting in a MOPS group.
-Malin and Marin are both crawling EVERYWHERE; Marin is our "army crawler" and Malin actually gives the effort to get her belly off the ground and move her arms and legs simultaneously! They follow everyone all day long and have become staples in the kitchen under my feet! Marin is saying "mama, dada, bubba" and Malin has tried to say somethings but mainly just squeals in excitement or displeasure! Malin can also sit herself up and when you notice it, she has the biggest smile on her face because of her accomplishment! (Marin will sit up if you sit her up but has no desire to try on her own)

I think that is about all. We are busy, busy, busy around our house these days and I would have it NO OTHER WAY! My house may not stay clean all the time and I may leave laundry on the dryer (folded of course), but I wouldn't have it any other way. There will be a day when I will long for that messy house and lots of little clothes piled up on the dryer, so right now I will just keep it real!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Month in Our New Home

Well we have been in our new home for a little over a month now, and it has flown by! Everything is unpacked, we have some things hung on walls, and for the most part we are settled in! The kids' rooms are all settled, now just time to decorate which will be a work in progress! We have been spending most of our time at the house just kind of enjoying each other since we know that in a little more than a month, we will be BUSY with both big kids starting school! I did find out the library's schedule for the summer so hopefully next week we can utilize that a little bit and hopefully meet some others that are the kids' age! I think that is the one thing that I am definitely looking forward to is the kids getting into school and us meeting some other families around here that have kids the same age. I have also been researching churches here and I hope that soon we will be able to test drive a couple and see what fits us best as a family. I definitely want to find a church that has a good youth involvement that can grow with the kids and that the kids can be a part of as they get older. We will see what the good Lord has in store for us!

The changes we have seen in each other since moving over here are things that THad and I definitely like. I feel like we are both less stressed with his shorter drive, her gets to sleep in a little longer and doesn't get home when the sun is going down! It seems like he has more energy for all of us and with 4 little ones demanding every bit of it from the moment he gets home, it's nice.

The girls are in a super fun stage! Malin will be crawling before we know it and Marin seems pretty content to just sit by and watch! Marin can sit up by herself if you sit her up while Malin tries to sit up by herself while scooting around! Both roll around everywhere, there is no keeping them in one spot anymore!  They have finally moved out of our room (we put them in our room for a few weeks when we moved over here) and they are now sleeping in their own beds, but LOVE seeing each other in the mornings! They are still sleeping through the night and usually go to bed no later than 9 and then wake up anywhere between 8:30 and 9:30 in the morning! I love the fact that all of our kids have been good sleepers from the beginning! Thad and I had this discussion yesterday about what we would do if our kids were not good sleepers and we honestly don't know what we would be like! We have been blessed for sure!

Berkley is in a very inquisitive phase where she is really questioning vocabulary and wants to know processes and why things happen how they do. She is also in the "rhyming" phase and can come up with lots of rhyming words on her own! I have a feeling she will either REALLY enjoy Pre-K or she will be SUPER bored; hopefully it will be the first! I know she will definitely be ready to meet some new kids! Jack is definitely hitting his peak as an "all boy!" I am extremely ready for him to get into school and start meeting new boys and really blossom out of his sometimes "shy" stage. I remember when Berkley was in the same stage where she was very timid in social situations and I am hoping that this is what it is with Jack (he is definitely a momma's boy!)  He and his sister constantly pester each other and we referee from sun up to sun down! We also know how much they really love each other and there have been lots of sweet moments between them lately!

I have been training for my first half-marathon now for about a month and am making strides! I am up to running 4 miles, 3 times a week and then this week I will run my longest, 7 miles on Sunday. I train 6 days a week with a rest day, usually on Monday! I must say that I LOVE it and it has really given me a great outlet at the end of my days at home! I have a nice route around the town and I feel very safe running and hope that when the kids start school I can also find some others to run with! But for right now, I will bask in the solitude of my runs and enjoy coming home to 4 kids who welcome me with "MOM, how far did you run today....ewww you are so sweaty!" I have also tried to be a little more "clean" with my cooking and eating options; getting the whole family on board is a little more difficult! I am drinking a gallon of water a day and the other day I really noticed that it helped my stamina throughout the run!

Ok enough about all of us, now a few pictures because I know that is what everyone looks for! Hope you enjoy!

Our little tiny dancer! This was before her dance recital at the end of May!

Concentrating really hard on her steps! She did so great and really learned a lot during her first year in dance!
 
Out of order but this is from our little photo shoot last month and I love the look on Marin's face; she is transfixed by her big sis!

Dancing her heart out! (That girl in front of her is already in Pre-K! Scary!)

Gettin' it!

Family pics; Marin and Thad

One of our family pics that dons the wall of our living room!

Berk Tate

This one I have on a canvas in our formal living room!

Marin Rhea

My sweet boy!

Just a smidge of his personality!

Malin Reid

At Rachel's wedding in May!

Sweetest flowergirl!

Sweet girls at 6 months!

Love all of my babies!

Jack and Malin are going to be a duo to be reckoned with!

Super hero!

Sweetest girl with her big girl haircut!

Who could resist those eyes and that smile?!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Big Changes are A Comin'!

Well we are almost into our first six months (HALF A YEAR) as a family of five and I can honestly say that we have adjusted rather quickly and nicely! The weirdest thing about going to a family of six and adding two babies at the same time is how easily it happened and how easily everyone adjusted and has settled in! When I think back to our beginning, right after the girls were born, it is as if God knew that we all needed a little time to adjust to the concept of two babies at the same time, doubling our kids in one fell swoop and going from a family of four to six so quickly, and their NICU stay gave us all that time we needed to begin to figure things out. Those two weeks are such a blur to me but for whatever reason, I feel like it gave me a good foundation to leap from, because that is exactly what it was! People today look at us (and me especially if I am somewhere with all 4 kids by myself) and say "HOW DO YOU DO IT?!" And my response to them is always, "This is what we do; there is no other normal for us!" The girls are WONDERFUL babies; so easygoing, sleep through the night since they were 8 weeks old, sweetest personalities, great dispositions and they just fit right into our ebb and flow; they work in OUR world! THeir brother and sister absolutely LOVE them and we seriously would not have it any other way! They are eating solid foods now, both are over 12 lbs and just change everyday! Marin is our chatter box and Malin is our laid back baby who can be pretty clingy! But both are the sweetest things ever! Berkley just finished up her first year of t-ball and I think she enjoyed herself! (It helped that she had two other girls on her team that were her friends!) Jack and Berk just finished tumbling also; this was Berk's second year and Jack's first and they both loved it!

Now onto our big changes! We will be moving in a little over a week to the town where Thad now works! We are BEYOND excited about this new change for our family and seriously cannot wait to get over there and get settled in! You know, ever since I have been dating Thad, he has always driven about an hour from where we have lived to got to work. At first when we were dating and even first married, this was not a big deal. After we had Berkley I could tell that it affected him, but it was what it was and what it always has been and we have made it work. As we got word that there was a chance that we could be moving to where he was working, we tried to not let our hopes get too high because we had had what we thought were chances before and they didn't pan out. So, through all of this we have really tried to not get too excited, but now that we are under contract for our house and our new house, we are ecstatic! Everything has just worked out so smoothly and I am so happy that it has! I don't think we ever stop and think about two hours (an hour to work and an hour home) being such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But when you add up those hours and they come out to 10 hours a week away from your family, I think it begins to wear on you! Some don't understand that and see the travel as part of the daily grind, but it you could, wouldn't you want to be as near to the ones you love and JUMP at the chance to do so?! Well we do and we are jumping, both feet in at this chance and can't wait to minimize that 10 hours to less than an hour a week! We have found a brand new house in this awesome town and we feel so incredibly blessed to get this opportunity! Berk will start Pre-K and Jack will go to Preschool at a church three days a week! I can't wait to get over there and get settled into our new routine and new house!

That's all the update I will leave you with this evening and I am going to try and get more regular at this but with moving and such it may be just hopeful thinking! I do have a new laptop that I am on so maybe its portability will help! THanks for keeping up with us! Can't wait to share our new beginning!

The Meadows

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Our First 3 Months as a Family of Six!

Today the girls are 3 months old! We cannot believe how fast time is going with the girls and we really wish it would just slow down a tad! We look at the girls together and we honestly cannot imagine life without one or the other! We are so thankful that God blessed us with two healthy and happy babies! They are such a blessing to our family! They have changed so much in the three months since their birth! We can't believe how different they are from their first month to now and how different they are from each other! We have dubbed Marin as going to be the post on the basketball team and Malin as the point guard! Marin has always been bigger and I think she will keep that role! Marin is very vocal and coos all the time, while Malin is very expressive and smiles at everything; her favorite is the ceiling fan! They love when their big brother and sister talk to them and follow them when they are close! Marin is now eating 7 oz bottles and Malin is eating about 5.5 to 6 oz. They are sleeping through the night (they were doing this by about week 8) and they really don't fuss much except when they are wet or hungry. Berk and Jack absolutely LOVE them and I am so happy that they are this way with them! We just celebrated Jack's THIRD birthday and I can't believe he is already this age! We got Berkley transfer papers to start SCHOOL next year and also signed her up for t-ball this spring! My babies are no longer babies!! Glad we have the girls, otherwise mama would have BAD baby fever about now! It is going to be so different next year with Berk at school and Jack and the girls at home! I can't wait to see how he does with them especially when they start crawling and walking! (Another milestone that I don't think I will be ready for!)

Since about 4 weeks after the girls were born, I was back running and working out. After the girls were born and during their NICU stay, I doubted my ability to get back to running the way that I wanted (I was running 7 miles straight at about a 9:45 pace when I made myself stop with the girls). I knew that Cowtown was coming up 8 weeks after the girls' birth, but i didn't expect myself to be able to get back into running, especially a straight 3 miles. To my surprise, running came back easily for me, just at a slower pace and I am back in LOVE with my number one stress reliever. I am determined to get back into the shape and size I was before the girls and exercising is so much more to me; it clears my mind, makes me strong and gives me the ability to be strong in every other aspect of my life. Some people don't understand that, and that is fine. But no time is sacrificed from my kids when I workout; it is usually during naptime when everyone is supposed to be napping. If I am on a run, then my husband is home catching up with the kids from his workday. At first I felt guilty about taking this time for myself, but now I realize that if I don't take the time for myself, then everyone else suffers. It is also about looking in the mirror and being happy and satisfied with the way I look and knowing that i took no magic pill to get to where I am, but put in all the work to get there! I am also my biggest critic and sometimes I am too hard on myself and I need to remind myself that not many people have had 4 kids in FIVE years and accomplished the things I have! This year in September I will run my first half-marathon and I am SO excited about starting my training for it. I have not been able to run much do to the amount of light there is after my hubs gets home, but now with Springtime, hopefully that will change! If not, then I will take advantage of my weekends and continue to do what I do during the week!

So that is about all that has been going on in our crazy life, but we LOVE it more than ever! Hope you enjoy the pictures of the last few months and I will try to keep this thing more up-to-date!

 1/21/13- Malin Reid
 1/21/13- Marin Rhea
 1/21/13- Sweet girls
 3/8/13- Malin
 3/8/13- Sweet babies
 3/8/13- Marin
 3/8/13- Big Sis Berk!
 3/8/13- Berkley Tate
 3/8/13- Big guy Jack
 3/8/13- Love this face of his!
 3/9/13- Swim party!
3/9/13- Dinosaur party!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Girls' Birth and NICU

I know I need to go ahead and recap all of this before I forget any details, but after the last three weeks seemingly living in a fog, I hope that I can remember everything. I will start with the girls' birth:

Thad and I left our house at 11:30 PM on Tuesday, December 11, 2012 to make our hour-long trek to the hospital to have labor induced to get to meet our baby girls on Wednesday, December 12, 2012 (12/12/12). This day was one we had been shooting for all along because we thought it would be cool for twins to have that birthday and our doctor saw no faults in it, since I was 37 weeks and 2 days (37 weeks is full term for twins), and they usually delivered twins between 36 & 37 weeks so that they wouldn't run the risk of them getting to big to complicate a vaginal delivery (my doctor is very anti-cut and for that I am so grateful!) Once we arrived at the hospital at around 12:30 AM, we got admitted, changed into my lovely hospital gown, peed in the cup, took vitals and started an IV and waited to get the ball rolling. I was dilated to a 3 when I was admitted and "twin a" was still high at a plus 3 position. The pitocin was started at about 2:15 AM and we waited...during this time, I tried to sleep on and off but to no avail, all the while Thad napped like a baby on the "comfy" sofa! My parents arrived about 4:30 AM and from then on, no sleep was to be had. I didn't feel tired, just ready for things to move along, and if it was going to be anything like my other two deliveries, I knew it might be a long day. To our surprise, things progressed MUCH quicker (as we were told we would for sure have babies by lunch), and I got my epidural when I was a 4 (about 7ish). After I got my epidural, about 30 minutes or so, I started feeling very light-headed and kind of sick to my stomach. Soon, the babies were not responding well to it and I had about 4 nurses rushing in, turning me on my side and giving me oxygen and then trying to get the anestesiologist in there to get something administered through my IV. Apparently, when carrying multiples, something can happen with an epidural that causes the babies to react adversly and this is what happened. They administered the drug and within 15 minutes, I was fine and babies heart rates were back on the monitor and they were doing well. (I should have known this would be a sign of things to come) After all of this, Dr. Phillips came in to check on me and I told her that I had the feeling like my water had just broken or I had just peed on myself so she went ahead and checked me and I had just peed on myself, but she did break my water as I was a 5, a whole gallon of clear fluid poured forth and after that, things went FAST. I think she broke my water at about 8ish and about 9:30 my nurse came in and said she had been down in the O.R. prepping it (it is protocol in our hospital to deliver multiples in an O.R. in case a c-section is needed) and she had a feeling she needed to come and check on me. SHe asked if I was feeling pressure and I told her a little but not too bad, she checkd me and said "Um yea, your cervix is completely gone, let me get Dr. Phillips in here to check you." Well hello progress! Dr. Phillips came in, checked and confirmed what the nurse said and told us that we were going to the delivery room! We wheeled out of our laboring room at 9:45 AM and into a cold, weird-feeling O.R. with about 20 people in there and lots of tools and scary stuff all around! (Remember this was NOT how I had had my other two and I thoroughly enjoyed my comfy laboring room wiht no BIG LIGHTS shining down on your nether regions!) So like I said, the entire atmosphere in a the O.R. was SO different than what we were used to and to add to the fact that we were having TWO babies, there were double the people and double the chaos! After getting me set up (even though I had an epidural, it was not 100% and I could still feel my legs and all that insued afterward), we were ready to deliver our girls. When we had gone in on Monday before for our NST and last appointment, both girls were presenting head down and were that way earlier in the morning as well so we assumed all was going to be smooth sailing. When Dr. Phillips gave me the OK to go ahead and push, Malin Reid arrived at 10:13 AM in one push and weighed in at 3 lb. 14 oz. and let hte ENTIRE world know that her lungs worked just fine! All I remember was seeing her and seeing how tiny she was; no holding my baby, just put in a warmer, assessed and bundled up. Malin scored a 7 on her inital APGAR and an 8 on her second one, so she was fine, but we were told she would go to NICU because she was under 4 lbs. (we knew that would be a possibility because of her IUGR, though at our ultrasound that MOnday she measured 4 lb. 2 oz.) After delivering Malin, Dr. Phillips wanted to get an ultrasound picture of "baby B" just to see her positioning, well low and behold, she had flipped and was breeched. Because they were both small, we had discussed delivering a breech baby and so this did not flip me out of scare me. With two pushes, her feet and butt were delivered and then I was told to STOP and not push anymore while Dr. Phillips was seemingly frantically trying to get the doctor in the O.R. who is termed the "breech guru" and can "deliver anything, anyway" in the words of Dr. Phillips. When he got in the room, he only had time to be slipped into his gown and then took his position. At this point, Dr. Phillips had worked to try and get "baby b" delivered, but to no avail and at this point she was about 4 minutes stuck in the birth canal with no oxygen. I don't remember much about that time because it was mere chaos but I do remember Thad telling me about how she looked like a limp noodle just hanging there. I am very glad it was a scene I could not see, as I know I would have had a hard time staying calm and completing my task. After she was delivered by forceps (remember that point I told you about the epidural not being extremely strong :/) she did not cry and was whisked away and immediately given oxygen to try and rescusitate her. They never did chest compressions on her but she did need help transitioning from outside the womb. Thad and waited for what seemed like forever, laying there, holding hands, pleading to God to please just make sure she was OK and after a few minutes (seemed like at least 10), we finally heard Marin Rhea cry; a weak cry compared to her sister, but a cry nonetheless. She arrived at 10:22 AM and weighed 5 lb. 4 oz. Her initial APGAR score was a 2 (that being out of 10 points possible), but after 5 minutes, her second score was a 7, so she was going to NICU because of her difficulty transitioning. We did get one picture of each of them, but it was NOTHING like I had hoped; there would be no pictures of the happy family of 6, no pictures of everyone doting over these two perfect little people and no pictures of mom and dad initially welcoming their two sweet girls. This is something I struggle with because that is how it is "supposed" to be; their big brother and sister are supposed to see them and touch them, mom is supposed to nurse them and do all the routine things we take for granted and everyone is supposed to be able to hold them and say how incredibly perfect they are; not have to admire in a gown, in the NICU with no holding, big brother and sister not being able to see them, no nursing or any of those things. Yes, it is selfish to think like that and yes I am happy that they are both OK and that the NICU was there to help them and that that is where they needed to be, but we missed out on all those things; WE, not just me. So the first time we got to actually see and take in the little things about our girls was hours after birth with Marin in an isolette and Malin in an open crib. I think we were both under the assumption that this would be a couple of days thing, that they would come home just a few days after I was discharged; never did we imagine it would be 13 days after their birth...

So began our NICU journey. Explaining to Berk and Jack that they could not only NOT see or hold their sisters was probably the hardest thing I have had to do. I know that in their 4 and 2 1/2 year old minds, they probably thought that this was all just a big joke and that I really didn't have babies and that my huge belly disappearing was just a hoax! We showed them pictures after each NICU visit (every 4 hours at touch times) and we tried to tell them all the little things about their sisters and both just got accustomed to asking "So how are hte girls today?!" During my stay in the hospital, grandparents were amazing and we coulnd't have done it without them. My recovery was extremely easy and I think God knew what we were going to be thrown so he gave me the easiest 7 hours of labor, little babies to birth and a very smooth recovery in comparison to the other two. Our first visit to NICU was seperate from each other because we had so many people who wanted to see the girls so we split up our time. Thad first went down and saw them and took in the routine for the NICU and all the things that you are asked to do: wash your hands and up to your elbows for 3 minutes (which absolutely tore up our skin), put on a gown, refrain from entering hte NICU if you have a cough or other cold symptoms, touch times are every 4 hours when you can come take their temperature and change their diaper and eventually hold them. Looking back, I wish Thad and I had gone down together by ourselves at first, but at that point I was so exhausted and didn't mind a little quiet time with my two older kids while others went and saw them. I don't think either of us were prepared for the entire aura of the NICU; you think that your kids have it bad, but really they didn't. THey were never on any pain meds, sedation, have extremely dangerous health situations and we were never told that either of htem might not make it; there are others who have not been so fortunate. So onto where the girls started. Seeing Marin for the first time, she was on a nasal canula to help her breathe a little better, she had a UVC in her umbilical cord and all the normal cords that they have hooked up to babies they are monitoring. Malin just had the normal cords but no nasal canula because she was doing fine and didn't have hte transition issue that Marin did. So all in all, the girls were really doing well and we were even told that Malin would probably start feeds the next day. They were both receiving fluids and the next day it would go to TPN which is a fluid that has all their essential vitamins, protein, etc. to give them their daily nutrients that they would otherwise receive through nursing. THe days I was in the hospital are again quite a fog with trying to start pumping ot build up a supply (my milk didn't come in until that weekend) and I was trying to just wrap my mind around when to be down there and when to take a little time for myself. The second day I asked the age old question "When can we expect them home" and of course I got the age old answer "Usually by their due date"-18 days away. THey explained that they have to maintain their body temperature, take all feeds by a bottle (a specific volume would be set based on their weight), be off all antibiotics and gaining weight. All of these things seemed so daunting at the time because all they were doing was just sitting there. Malin started feeding the second day because she was doing great and Marin was still NPO. Malin was a champ at feeding and did great with her 5 mL! Both girls were on two antibiotics; antibiotics that all babies who come to NICU have at first. THis course of antibiotics would go for 5 days, given that there was no other infection. THe first couple of days seemed to go pretty well, nothing exciting and no major issues; Malin was now taking 10 mL, and before I left I fed her 10 mL of formula. I was discharged that Friday and leaving the hospital without our two new babies was like ripping my heart out and stomping on it. I felt like I needed to come home that Friday and have a "normal" night with cooking dinner and just enjoying my older kids' company along with my sister and her family. That night, I received a call from the NICU and they said that Malin had passed a stool that had blood in it and that they were doing a work up on her to figure out what was going on and they were also going to do an abdomen scan that night and follow with one in the morning. Wow, talk about making me feel extremely selfish for wanting to be home and not up there with them. My breakdowns were not done in public and I never wanted pity from anyone, but there were plenty of shower times that that is all that I did because I didn't know what to do, how to handle myself and this obstacle that was now facing our family; not just me, but our entire family unit. So that weekend, we drove to and from the hospital (an hour drive), and spent the days up there and nights at home. Our big kids were exhausted, as were mom and dad. Nothing really changed with the girls on these days, except Marin was now under the lights because she was jaundiced since she still had not had anything to eat. Their neonatologist was very cautious with Marin after what happened with Malin because they could never pinpoint where the infection was coming from in Malin and he wanted to make sure it wasn't an infection they had shared in utero (especially since at the time of their delivery they were 25% discordant). So, needless to say, Marin's jaundice was pretty bad at first, but a few days under the lights and she was good. After Malin's bloody stool, she was put NPO also so neither was eating, just getting their TPN through their nasal canulas. Malin got a PICC line to administer her new antibiotic (another weeklong venture) and I signed a consent for Marin to get a PICC line if needed. After all of the bloody stool issues with Malin, we decided that we needed to be up there, staying close just in case; so we packed suitcases (4 of them) and headed to make a stay in a hotel until the girls came home. We wanted to keep a sense of normal for our two older kids and we felt like this was the best way to do it as they would throw a fit to come to the hospital with us though they knew they were not allowed to go back and see the girls. The days that the girls remained in the hospital are all a blur, honestly! My family came and we had a very unconventional Christmas in a hotel; my mind constantly on my two babies that were not there, but so grateful for hte time we had together with everyone else. Marin began feeding and Malin didn't have anymore bloody stool issues so we knew and hoped that we would be on the up and up. Soon, they were in a crib together and we went up from there. It was so amazing once things got going that we knew that the 31st was a good guess as to when they'd be home. I tried to not ask too much about the "when" because I didn't want to be disappointed if it didn't come true. Our first Tuesday in the hotel, we had to come back to take Berk to her dance recital; on our way home we saw two shooting stars and on each I wished that our babies would be home for Christmas. At the time I knew that it was a crazy wish, but I thought "What would it hurt?" As we were coming up on Christmas and the girls were making strides towards coming home, the thought of Christmas had slipped into my mind, but I didn't give it too much thought due to that disappointment thing. As we got closer to Christmas and each girl was eating better and making all the right moves, those two shooting stars slipped into my mind. Christmas Eve I received amazing news that the girls would get to come home on Christmas, given no issues through the night. I cannot explain how amazing those words sounded at that time. I had not cried throughout our entire time there, and for hte first time, I let the tears flow as hteir doctor came and gave me that news. It would be the best Christmas yet! I held my breath all Christmas Eve because I didn't want my phone to ring with any more bad news or set backs! I tried to stay in the moment and not get too concerned about the maybe of coming home hte next day. Christmas morning was a wonderful morning as my phone had not rang all night and I knew our girls would come home that day! Christmas truly is a time for miracles. There was a time not more than a week earlier when Christmas didn't even seem a possibility and now, our girls were coming home on Christmas day and would finally get to meet their older brother and sister! We had so many generous people in our time in the NICU and so many people covering our family in prayers, and for those things, we can never say thank you enough. Our girls are home and our family is complete and this will be a CHristmas that we will never forget.

So many people asked me how I was holding up during this entire time, and I really can't tell you because it was such a foggy time. Though the girls were never in a bad health state, they were still in NICU and we were told to prepare ourselves for hte ups and downs and so we weren't sure how everything was going to play out. Do we regret having our girls at 37 weeks? No because we were told that with multiples this was hte best situation and our doctor reassured us that we had made a good decision to go ahead and take the girls; especially that if Marin had been bigger and gotten stuck then she probably would not have made it. With their discordance being at 25% that MOnday, they probably would have scheduled an induction regardless because their discordance was growing more and more; I would not have carried them much longer regardless. Would I have elected to have a c-section, knowing now what was going to happen? No. I thank God that my doctor did not push that option on me and respected the fact that if it was possible that i wanted to have a vaginal delivery. SHe did explain to me that if it was absolutely necessary for me or the girls to have a c-section then it would be done. There was no way of knowing what was going to happen and we are just very thankful that God was watching over all of us at the time of delivery. There was also no way of knowing all of the things that would happen in NICU and when I look back, I am thankful they were there, where they needed to be for that time. THad and I have a much better relationship and are stronger due to all of this. I have never relied on someone so much as I relied on Thad during the girls' NICU stay; he is my rock and I know that this journey would have been unbearable had it not been for him. He never pushed me to "talk about my feelings," he just seemed to always know when I needed a hug or when to just let me have my time and wiped my tears. Our journey has been one that has tested us, but it is one that we will never forget. So for now, we look forward and are enjoying our time TOGETHER as family of six. Thank you for joining us in our journey!

 Last belly pic!
 
 Monitor during labor
 
 Marin Rhea
 
 Malin Reid
 
 My extremely thoughtful husband!
 
All 4 of our babies!